Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Hey Comcast!

OK new rant for the day...this one is about my cable TV...

Comcast Boasts that they have thousands of hours of "on demand" television.

Myself, I am a big hockey fan. It is one of the few things I will STOP to watch, and actually pay attention to. So I figure "hey, I haven't seen a game in awhile...let me grab it on demand."

So I go through the maze of menus, and finally find "Flyers" (Hey I'm a hockey fan, and even watching a crappy team can get me my fix "LET'S GO RANGERS!")...

"No listings available"....what? NO game? huh... That makes no sense...they did play Saturday, why can't I get that?...It was only 2 days ago....

So I goof around in the menus...I did happen to find 14 selections of AAA HIGH SCHOOL swmming/diving events, and some of these events are 3 hours long...

So comcast thinks that they have to save programming space for 30+ hours of high school sports, but cannot leave ONE SINGLE flyers game on the system for more than 24 hours?

I hope the mommies and daddies of these lil fishies have to pay extra for their kids to go to school, for the pleasure of being able to tell Bob next door to watch the kid on TV. Because we all know the local high school pulls in more viewers then the Flyers...Maybe the local swimming hole should be move to the Wachovia.

Thanks for the thousands of hours of programming comcast, I personally only wanted 2 and a half, preferably pointed at a little black disc with a bunch of guys chasing it around...

Side rant...Vs. (formerly the "outdoor life network") carries NHL Hockey as well...(NHL WTF were you thinking signing that contract)...they carry games outside the region (i.e. for when I don't wanna watch the sucky Flyers)...yeah...your "On Demand" selections consist of 15 min outtakes of the games...

Dear Mr. CEO of the Vs. network...Please send me a copy of your video of the birth of your child, so that I can cut it down to "only the important parts". I would also like to make a pet project of your wedding video, your kids first steps, and I will be sure to cut it "professionally" into 10 second clips....I'll be sure to make your entire wedding ceremony fits into 7 mins (just like an ENTIRE NHL game in your recaps), and then be sure to ad in clips of other people's weddings for the last 7 minutes, covered by "commentary" from useless individuals.

Cmon now...somebody just show a game...

Friday, March 16, 2007

What to do?

I have come to yet another crossroad...I need to know what to do.

I am in a situation where I feel completely helpless, and the part that scares me, is that is what I do. I help.

I consult...that is...I am the "expert" that is brought in, when things go wrong, and nobody knows what to do, how to do it, and get things done.

I work in the construction industry. I help the Owner, the Architect, the Contractor, and the City, all come to an agreement on what/where/how something is constructed. What scares me is that in recent months, I receive no help from my design team, and the City informs me that "you don't know what you are doing (insert teeth sucking here)".

The past weeks, the City has COMPLETELY changed it's procedures, and of course in it's infinite wisdom, did not train any of it's own employees for the changes. I have spent the last 4 days working on stuff, that normally would take 1/2 a day.

On top of that, my clients now, have performed illegal construction, owes thousands in fines, and it is MY FAULT, they got caught, and I can't make it go away, so they can continue their construction. For this, I am an Asshole...

On the other hand, I have the client that has constructed everything already, prior to having retained any professional, filed for any permits, and now said "I'm disappointed in you" in a wonderfully angry tone, because he built something ass-backward, not to code...and I can't legalize it. SO he has to tear it down... Once again...Asshole.

In the background, I have a client who is yelling at me, because in an effort to save him $15,000, I asked him to pay me $500 to do a record search. Well the record search turned up nothing, so he has to go for the $15,000 worth of work...but the anger and ferocity he is showing me at this point, is incredible. Now granted, the search did not save him anything in the long run, but if the search worked, he would have saved $14,500. yet again...asshole.

My latest city battle includes waiting 5 hours to be told "I don't have time for you now, come back tomorrow"; Multiple requests for information, all of which have no effect on the project, and each time I come back with the useless information, as requested, I am told to bring more...mind you a construction crew is waiting on their asses DAILY for work to begin; requesting a copy of a document that "doesn't exist", then "it exists, but we don't have", then "you don't know what you're asking for", then "you don't know how to access the records"...an argument, teeth sucking, thrown up hands, and finally, when someone else comes over, I give them the application number, and within 2 minutes I have a copy in my hands. ummm...you asshole.

Maybe I am an asshole. I think people forget that the reason they hire me, is because THEY CANNOT DO IT THEMSELVES! If they could, why call me? But I am the asshole, because in my daily work, where it is my job to HELP my clients, and work cost effectively, all I get from both ends is grief...

"hey look, you had 3 violations that were $10,000 each...I got them to drop 2, but you still have to pay 1, and they'll drop the rest."

Do I get a "thank you" for saving THEM $20,000 in violations THEY caused? NO. Unfortunately, I get yelled at for not getting all 3 thrown out. All of them, for a building I've never seen, for people I don't know (a new client), for work that is undoubtedly done wrong and illegal.

Them: "Now, go back to the city, and request the 3rd one be dismissed."
Me: "I personally don't recommend that, you should be lucky they dropped 2."
Them: "I'm paying you to get this done, go do it."
Me: "If you insist, please put it in an email, and I'll do it..."

Now mind you...I get paid the same amount for the dismissal no matter how it is done. My job is to get it cleared. Now if I can get it kicked on face value I will. Otherwise, the fine must be paid, and the violation removed. Either way I still get paid the same amount. A whopping $175.00...As of right now, the guy is "up" $19,825.00.

So I get the email, go back to the City, and "politely (while cringing)" request that the third violation be dismissed as well....Well guess what...? Guess who has to pay $30,000 again...

Ready for this...I've been threatened by lawsuit.

Now I really don't care (I mean my contract is rock solid, and I have everything in writing, and how can I be sued because they fucked up...), but who wants to deal with this type of bullshit?

I am running into this more and more, and caring less and less about helping people. NO matter what you do for them, you're wrong in the end anyway. Even those that go completely as expected, and line for line as per contract, have people bitching at the end looking for any excuse for a discount on their bill. Don't worry...it's in the mail.

So the question is....what to do? In recent days, I have given serious consideration to closing my doors, never having to hear another person bitch about how "you didn't do enough", or "as fast as I wanted it" or "make it RIGHT!"

Well, I can't afford to close my doors...so guess what...I know what to do...I'm going to revisit someone I thought I left in my past a long time ago...

WATCH OUT, CAUSE HERE COMES THE ASSHOLE!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Myspace sucks!

Well, people have asked time and time again, and I was going to put this together myself, but it appears that someone has summed it up all too well...

http://jstoppi.googlepages.com/10reasonsididn%27tstartamyspaceaccount

Be Well.